thoughts about study...

so what's it about computer science?

thoughts of computer science as a tool -- what do you want to use it for?

what's it that you want your life to amount to?

taken from stars (post-in-draft; then again, aren't they all?):

11/23/2009

is a life even supposed to amount to something? can it amount to something?

I guess this is might be one of those meaning of life questions -- it's one of those things that I sidestep. I've accepted some sort of thought on it, but it's something that I don't usually think about much, because I don't find it consequential to daily life. Something like religion.

It's just right now I'm starting to wonder. What am I doing with myself? What am I doing? Why am I doing what I'm doing? What do I want? How ironic a situation it is to not know what you want. Or maybe I know what I want but I've just buried it in me somewhere and hence can no longer find it.

I live my life feeling. I see a picture of a girl..

taken from stars (blog where i'd started writing other things); post-in-draft:

11/9/2009

I live my life feeling. I see a picture of a girl with a bloated stomach, my hand moves to my own.

I want to cry when I think of Gandhi. I cannot think of him any more...

...but was he just human? Should I accept him for his whole, his flaws?

What I want to do

-live (work) in Amsterdam

-work in rural India

-work in the African continent

-fashion; design

-design MechE like things for extreme affordability

-learn Spanish, French, Arabic, Urdu, Hindi, Sanskrit, Dutch, Mandarin, Bengali, Punjabi

-study poetry

-make a documentary of impact

-move a movement

-go mountain biking, hiking trekking, surfing

-work as a waitress or shop staff or etc.

-bring better technology to farming

-do something about the urban poor

-do something about education, schools

-make music; learn Hindustani vocal

-start a Gaelic football team at Stanford

-be an actress; do drama